Dear Me

They have taken their oaths as a cover, so they averted [people] from the way of Allah . Indeed, it was evil that they were doing.

That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.

p/s: Make fool of yourself

Eid 2017

Existence without no purposes

Questions are left with no answers

Sins without repentance

Over and over again.

Now tell me where you want to run

Left or right 

...because in the end

Hakuna matata, que sera sera.

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya :) Kenapa anak murid aku ni guna whatsapp group parents tanya pasal kerja sekolah. Sabaq Lili. 

Life Update

They say you'll see rainbow after rain

I say it's enough with the clouds

They say good things must come to an end

I say I'll put you in a photograph then

They say you'll meet wrong guy along the way

I say I'm glad to be in his life

Hello February

How are you? 

It was hard with you the last time.

Another months have come

Another person has peek through

Another heart has filled with

Another joy has been shared finally

Some friends are struggling

But with them are still the same.

p/s: Life Update :)

12 Years Later...

If it's not because of Aida, I wouldn't be there for Tini's wedding. Trust me. Anything about my primary school friends I would run from it. Why?

So let me tell you a short story.

Once upon a time, there was this girl whose parents are both teachers and she went to their school. She didn't have so many friends. Other kids dislike her because she was short tempered. She liked to pick fights with other kids especially boys. Well, she thought she was cool. The end.

Okay that girl is me. Believe me, going to reunion like today reminds me so much on how horrible I was. Really though. That's why I don't really go to my primary school friends' wedding. Sorry. I feel bad recalling the little girl I was 12 years ago. However, today they made me realized that 'Hey c'mon I'm still a kid kot dulu. Of course I do dumb things!'

Everyone is changing. You don't stay the same. You learn from mistakes and buckle up for the next phase. I'm like, screw you little Farah, screw everything.

p/s: If I could say something to my 12 year old Farah, I would tell her to make more friends, to appreciate them and...never pick fights with anyone I supposed haha :)

August :)

Alhamdulillah. Praise be to Allah.

I finally get posted peeps. Too many rumors. Too much promises. Too many hopes.

As far as I can remember, I finished school around November 2015 (itu kira sekali intern kays). Was called for interview on April 2016. Got my SPP interview result at the end of June.

Tahu tak from November until Ogos ni, berapa banyak kami-kami ni rasa hopeless. Cuba jadi positif kata mereka, tapi bila sampai dah tengah tahun tu berapa positif lagi kau ada. Nevertheless, I'm a happy kid staying at home. And yeah, I didn't work.

But didn't stay at home doing nothing. I kinda improved my cooking skills what. Takdelah level advanced. Perhaps intermediate maybe. Hehe.

I called my mom as soon as I checked my posting results. Silap timing lah time tu ibu kita dalam kelas, the whole class could hear I was shouting + crying excitedly. Haha sorry kids that's how your future teacher will be. Being posted to Negeri Sembilan is truly a blessing. Which school which district? Let's wait this Monday.

p/s: Never been so happy like I'm feeling right now. Alhamdulillah for everything.

Book: Rafa: My Story

“Enduring means accepting. Accepting things as they are and not as you would wish them to be, and then looking ahead, not behind.”

As a girl who bought a tennis racquet just because of that one semester, this book open my eyes about this sport. Now to make it clear, I'm not a sport fan. During high school, I used to get hooked on Formula 1. It was the year when Lewis Hamilton was the new guy. Being an avid supporter of Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen that time though. HAHAHA.

So last week, tennis was kinda my lost and found treasure. Tak sure how but I was searching for Federer then macam teringat another guy who is Nadal. And that's how the story went from US Open, Wimbledon lah macam-macam. The thing about me is I don't like sport because I can't take the pressure of tension for the players to finish. Macam too much to handle lah. It explained why I watched past matches only cause I knew siapa yang menang. 

Then, I found out that Nadal has a book through one of his matches in youtube. It was the classic Wimbledon 2008 between him and Federer. People said it was one of the best matches in history. Trust me, it is. Nadal told more about the match in his book. His preparations, what he felt before and during. A little about his childhood. It's fascinating to know how strong his mental are. This amazed me sangat. He had this pre-ritual and routine things he does for every matches. Kelakar jugak lah tapi from that book he said it's not superstitious because if it's true than how come he always does that despite it's a win or lose match. TRUE! 

I learned that, to be successful like him you can't expect only talent. He said Federer is a guy who was born to play tennis unlike him. He practices everyday even though he's on vacation. Not to forget his humbleness. So dah tahulah kenapa setiap kali habis tournaments despite dia kalah ke menang, Nadal mesti akan puji pihak lawan dia (if they deserves it). Sebab ayah dia ajar daripada kecil tak kisah memang or kalah you have to praise and say good things about them.

I would say this was a good book if you're a fan of him. Well I do. Paling best tengok dia lawan during Roland Garros. That's why he is the King of Clay. He literally macam clay-skating kot atas tu.

p/s: "However great your dedication, you never win anything on your own."

22 Ramadhan

This post was supposed to go up last Wednesday and somehow it didn't for so many reasons. Alhamdulillah as I passed my SPP interview yet it was an awful day for some of us. His arrangements are so beautiful that even when we ask for something He'd signaled 'Not yet.'

I like to say all of us always dua for good things, we ask to be given health, rrizq, peace, to be able to take care our parents for as long as we can, partners. We dua for our heart to be at ease, for Him to wash our pain. Sometimes, He gives us different answers to our prayers.

How is it, the odd of failing our SPP interview happened to one of my best friends. I was so happy to pass. An hour later, I found out that our friends had failed. Of course I didn't have the same pain as they did but I know exactly how it feels to be waiting for something and when the time comes to, you didn't make the call.

I'll always bad at words but I want them to know that the fact Allah chose them for this test means He remembers them. My mind came to conclusion He doesn't remember me, He ignored me there were my friends He loves the most. Stay strong, I know you are. You should be proud of yourself. You didn't make the cut because you were terrible but it is Him who has another plan for you. You hit the lowest point of your life and for this will driven you to fly to the highest peak. No matter how worse you think of yourself, I am here and will always be beside you.

p/s: I applaud you.